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end of the year reflections

art | media | personal | goals for 2023

art section

while last year i learned a lot about the basics, i feel that this year i experimented more with my artstyle. my color palettes were way more vibrant, i started using the rectangle brush and it's now one of my favorites.

to start off the year, i did this breath of the wild screenshot study which i was very proud of (and still really like it).

during january i did an oc lineup. it hasn't aged really well for me but it was good practice and i'm surprised i managed to draw so many characters.

on that month i also sent my application to a splatoon fanzine i really wanted to participate in, the Hero Shot Zine (agent 3 centered zine??? count me in PLEASE). to my surprise i was accepted! it's surely a highlight of my year. receiving that acceptance email in my inbox made my heart race and i grinned like an idiot...

the process of participating in the zine and working on my piece was very stressful, though, because of my own insecurities and overthinking. i'd constantly compare my work and my check-ins to the other artists', and the impostor syndrome hit really hard during that time. i sent my final piece in june/july, and got over these self-doubts. i spent over 35 hours working on that drawing, i know i put as much effort in it as i could, i shouldn't be berating myself so much over little details.

i also participated in the Farewell Inkopolis multimedia project! i didn't feel capable of working on a MAP part, so i joined the zine side instead. since it was an open, digital project, i didn't stress as much over it as with the other zine. it was just a really fun time! seeing it all come together in the end was so nice, and i rewatched the MAP project over and over when it came out. this was my piece:

another piece i'm proud of this year is this looping animation i made in may for splatoon's 7th birthday! i'm happy i had the idea and managed to actually finish it.

i knew i wanted to participate in artfight this year, so in june i drew a lot of character reference sheets and worked on their pages. i'd also browse through the artfight site and bookmark characters i wanted to attack.

artfight ended up being SUCH a cool experience. i drew 21 attacks, and i'm sure i've never drawn this much in a month (save for when i was 9 and would fill up sketchbooks in a week). i had a lot of fun drawing other people's characters, and every attack i received back was a delight. i ended up not attacking everyone i wanted to, because i got pretty burned out in the second half of the month, but i'll surely participate again next year (even if i end up being busy with irl stuff and can only make a few attacks)!

this next piece is a contender for favorite thing i drew this year. i was just in a yearning mood and thinking about Them and. this was the result. it's very simple looking but i'm happy with the colors and vibe of this one. it's just really tender and gay and i like it

another contender is the gif i made that's on my site's main page!! i love how the greenery turned out and it was just a fun process. (it's not me. even though she looks a bit like me.)

and the last piece from this year i'll talk about is this december one. it was honestly a fun surprise, i just wanted to draw something and this idea came into mind, and it turned out really nice. i'm proud of how this one turned out!

overall, this was a pretty good year for art. i noticed that my mindset improved a lot from the start of 2022. i felt a lot more inscure about my skills and would overthink every little detail in my pieces; now i'm more aware that no art piece is perfect and that's the whole point, there's no end goal in art, i'll never reach a point where i'm fully satisfied with my work and that's good, because it means i'm constantly learning and improving. "perfect-looking" art also tends to be uninteresting and devoid of life, i'd say. i don't know, i'm just rambling at this point.

media section

some of my favorite media i consumed this year! these are not necessarily ones that came out in 2022.

videogame: splatoon 3 lol. i anticipated this game aaaall year long and playing it for the first time was awesome :]

movie: probably turning red! it's so charming, i fell in love with the color palettes and animation in this movie

tv show: arcane and the owl house. i think i watched arcane like 4 times this year LOL and i will never forget the saturdays watching the new owl house episodes with my sister. anime mention: demon slayer and mob psycho 100! can't choose one because they're both so good (and because i watched both of them with my sister and that's always fun)

book: probably everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily r. austin! or the shallows by nicholas carr, which i am currently very close to finishing

comic/manga: the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all by arai sumiko!

music album: blue water road by kehlani. it's such a lovely record, i'm glad i gave it a try!

and, just for the record, my most anticipated game for the next year is the legend of zelda: tears of the kindgom. i've been waiting for it ever since it was first announced back in E3 2019, and all the delays made me lose a bit of the excitment i felt about it, but i know it'll be an amazing game and i really can't wait to play it blind! one of the things i regret the most is having played breath of the wild already knowing basically everything about the plot (and it was STILL an awesome experience), so i'm really looking forward to may 12th!

i'm also SUPER excited for spider-man: across the spider-verse part 1!!! into the spiderverse is probably my favorite movie ever and when they announced there'd be more..... HELL yeah!! i'll probably watch it with my uni friends when it comes out!! oh and another movie i'm really looking forward to is the super mario movie! the franchise was a big part of my childhood and i'm 95% sure i Will Cry at some point in the movie. probably if there's some kind of mario galaxy music motif. and i will be sad if we don't get any daisy/rosalina appearances but oh well. can't have everything.

and OF COURSE, arcane season 2!! i hope it actually comes out next year, buuut it's absolutely fine if it needs more time. it has really high standards to live up to. and lastly, more the owl house season 3 specials! we might just get both of the ones remaining next year, and i know i'll cry like a fucking baby. that series means a lot to me.

personal section

i feel that i was more conscious of myself this year. i paid more attention to my thoughts, my emotions, my body. and that's always the first step towards changing my habits and mindset on certain situations. for one, my fear of the wind: i know why i developed this fear, i know what triggers it, and now i have to figure out how to properly deal with it.

i'm also working on my insecurity issues. i care too much about what other people might think of me, emphasis on might. i'm a huge overthinker. i know why that happens, i know it's immature, i just have to work more on changing my habits and thought processes that are responsible for it.

my birthday this year was... okay? nothing really happened. to quote my diary, "my mom spent the afternoon away, my dad worked until the beggining of the night, my hometown friends barely remembered, my grandma made a weird dessert and during the whole day it seemed like it'd rain, but it didn't". the fun part was at midnight (the start of the day), when i was playing splatoon and got matched into a lobby where everyone was squidpartying. it's silly, but i felt like it was a surprise party for me.

i also became more confident in myself than i used to be. i have a feeling that it relates to my coming to terms with my identity, being in a university environment i feel comfortable in, and making more friends. i had a theater class this year, and it was pretty fun; it's not something i can imagine myself enjoying as early as a year ago. i've always been shy and would feel anxious to speak in public and do school presentations, but this year i barely felt stressed about those.

my problems this year were always personal, internal struggles, not issues related to university. which is interesting because during high school ALL of my problems were related to school. it's probably because i am now studying something i feel passionate about and identify with, which was not the case with my chemistry degree. though i don't regret my high school years at all, i know that studying on that institution was very important to my formative years. i learned so much, not just academically, but most importantly as a human, too. i would not be who i am today if it weren't for the years i spent there and for the people i got to know.

this year i also got closer to my uni friends and hung out with them more often. i even went to a club for the first time in my life, lol. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would, but i'm not sure i'd want to go again. it was... an interesting experience.

on the digital wellbeing topic, this year the way i handled my internet usage and habits was pretty mediocre. only in april did i manage to follow some set rules and only open social media once a week, but after that it was all lost again. i really, really wish i could get off instagram, but i feel like i need it while i'm at university. instagram is the only social media i have where irl people and friends following me. i also have a different audience overall on there than the one i have on tumblr, so when i'm to open commissions, it's better to have access to both options.

goals for 2023

get back into meditating!

write more often in my diary, even if it's just to write what i did in a day

try to drive in the highway. at least get a little used to it for when it's needed

to go along with the last goal, have an appointment with my old therapist. i'd like to go alone, and for that i'll need to drive in the highway.

open commissions. just do it, for fuck's sake !!

animate more, bring my ideas to life, even if it's only an animatic or storyboard! my mental list of ideas just keeps growing and i do nothing about it

cook! make lunch and dinner for my family more often, try out different recipes

keep working on this website! my list of ideas for it also keeps growing and i'm not catching up!!

have a good time. hang out with my friends and family. play viddy game. sit on the front porch and think about nothing

learn more about birds :]

and that's it from me!! if you read this far uhhh.. thank you? lol it was quite a bit. here's for a good 2023!! ^_^